Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Quit fucking breathing!

I remember I was 10 years old. It was a winter's day in Arco, Idaho, the hellhole I grew up in until I was 12. My mom had already gone to work, tasking me with waking my oldest brother up for school. He was so hard to wake up, and he threw the truck keys at me and told me to start it. But I was 10, had never been behind the wheel of a vehicle before, and was scared. I told him, and he got really angry with me. 5 minutes later, he was scraping the frost off the windshield, barely getting any of it off. It was cold, 20 degrees, so normally people let the engine heat up so the windows can defrost. Not Bill. Bill, Chris, and I piled into the truck, and instantly, the windows started fogging. Bill screamed at us "Quit fucking breathing, you fat fucks!"

And I tried my hardest to hold my breath. 

Do you know what it's like to be made to feel that you are a worthless human being for having the audacity to breathe? 

I do.